kristin has been a bad kristin
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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