Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
BRING THE BAGELS
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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