i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
