Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
