The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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