He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
