you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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