when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
dude i'm inner monologue high
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
