Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
