Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I don't deserve a penis
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
