remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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