I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
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