I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
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