C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
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so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
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Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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