no, he came in my armpit
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
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