I seem to have left my pride at pride
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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