I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
