the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
