I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed