I am puke
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN