**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
