I like to think it a success when the cops are called
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Just pee around me
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Randomize
