She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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