I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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