her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Randomize
