we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
