Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize