Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
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