I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
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