D3 body, D1 cock
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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