I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
