He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
