There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
