I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I don't think brook has ever known best
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
