Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I need water and some morals
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize