You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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