Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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