I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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