You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
My cat gives me a boner
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize
