I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
