Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I am one with the molecules
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Randomize
