But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
