Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I can't turn off my feet"
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
