I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
