she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
