Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
