yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
