So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
