She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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