.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Randomize
