I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Randomize
