eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
