I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Why are your pants in the freezer?
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
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