Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
