Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
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