Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
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