I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
you made out with another girl for some wings
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
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