Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
