I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
