I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
