I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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