good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
