Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I yelled at your uterus for you.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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