just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
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